Weight Loss Surgery Help

All-or-None Thinking: That Evil Think We Do

Many of us engage in the destructive pattern of all-or-none thinking. You know that you may be in trouble anytime you hear yourself say any of the following…

Well, you get the picture and I am sure you will have no trouble filling in the blanks. Anytime you start down the path of all-or-none thinking you almost certainly guarantee failure and disappointment. As we all know it is hard to keep your motivation up if you consistently fail.

Breaking out of the all-or-none thinking pattern is difficult at best, but not impossible. Perhaps a few tips will help you get started in breaking this destructive pattern of thinking.

Let’s remind ourselves that all-or-none thinking places us in a pass or fail situation. There are few things in life that are pass or fail, black or white. The world is not black and white, but comprised of the many colors of the rainbow. No one would want to go through school or life for that matter on a strict pass or fail criteria. A pass/fail scenario does not even allow room for partial credit, second chances, learning from our mistakes, etc.

So let’s agree that there is very little in life that is pass/fail and that we need to think more colorfully and across a wider range of possibilities.

In order to change your all-or-none thinking consider trying these steps for a few weeks. First, you are going to have to become more aware of your thinking. When you hear yourself utter or even think in absolute terms (never, always, etc.) stop right then and there! Say to yourself, this is all-or-none thinking so I have to restate what I just said. Now spend a few moments thinking about what would be a more reasonable and realistic statement. Keeping in mind that all-or-none thinking often has to do with goal setting affirmations, now is the perfect time to develop a more realistic goal. This is a goal you can measure, write down, commit to, and set a time limit for achieving.

Second, spend a few moments thinking about what was motivating you to make such an all-or-none statement. You may find that more often than not that frustration is driving these statements. In order to be less frustrated you will most likely have to experience more success. Making realistic expectations is much more likely to lead to success. We all know how much success breeds success!

I hope these tips and reminders about the evils of all-or-none thinking will be helpful in your successful journey following weight loss surgery.

Dr. Gary